The mind boggles at possibilities for 2012

I don’t know the same things you don’t know

I don’t know, I just don’t know

And I forget the same things you forget

But you predict what surely hasn’t happened yet

— Closing theme song, Corner Gas, by Odds.

Whilst searching for something the other day amongst the anarchy of papers, magazines, pictures, old press releases and other flotsam I call the top of my desk, I came across a City of Kamloops parking pass.

It expires today. We get a couple of these each year for use when attending to newspaper business around town. As far as I know, this one remained consigned to the lower reaches of my clutter pile, as if it were an artifact awaiting exhumation, since about last January.

Which explains why people kept asking, “Has anyone seen that parking pass?” It served as a silent reminder that 2011 has sped by rather quickly. It was an interesting year in pretty much every way one can imagine.

But in a few hours, the past (as George W. used to say) will be over. What the new year will bring, nobody knows, and I’m not going to make a bunch of cute predictions about it.

I don’t know, for example, whether I’ll join Brian Alexander in being banned from City Hall, though there are probably a few of my former colleagues down there who figure it’s an idea worth considering.

Nor do I know whether I’ll ever sort out the junk on my desk (or what I’ll find in there if I try), or if this will be the year I get new carpet in my office, or whether the boys down at Jay’s Service will, after having it in their shop for seven years, get my old cornbinder on the road (I do know, however, that it would be a relief to both of us).

And I have no idea how Ajax will turn out, whether the Liberals will find a way out of the jam they’re in over the HST, or whether Stephen Harper will be revealed as an alien.

Or — and here’s the big one — whether 2012 really will be the year the world ends.

Who would have ever guessed, going into 2011, that Bill Vander Zalm would be back in the limelight, leading British Columbians to a humiliating defeat of the government over a tax issue?

Or that people would rise up all over the world in an “Occupy” movement that was, at the same time, targeted and confused, admirable and maddening?

Or that a counter petition against a parkade would not only succeed, but succeed easily?

Or that the latest rage at Kamloops high schools would be shooting videos of girls fighting? Or that Tobiano Resort would go into receivership? Or that putting grades on report cards would be considered not an essential part of the work done by teachers?

Or that a family in Australia would set a Guinness World Record by putting 331,038 Christmas lights on their house?

Or that a 99-year-old Italian man would divorce his wife of 77 years after finding out she cheated on him in the 1940s?

Or that a guy convicted of assaulting his former girlfriend would be prohibited from having a girlfriend for three years? (I’m skeptical of that one, but supposedly it happened in Canada).

Or that a guy in Florida would live with turkeys for the entire year to prove they aren’t stupid? Which, of course, raises the question of who’s smarter, him or the turkeys.

The mind positively boggles at the possibilities for 2012.

Final five of most fascinating ‘Loopsians for 2011

Herbert Wirth, 'Most Fascinating Kamloopsian 2011.'

Look, when I call them the 10 Most Fascinating Kamloopsians of 2011, I mean they’re cool because of the connection between who they are and what they did, not that they’re perfect.

On Tuesday I began with Tina Lange in the Number 10 spot, and worked through Richard Wagamese, Terry Lake, Violet the purple dog, and Carl Anderson, offering, in my books, a pretty convincing argument for each.

So, onto the top five of the top 10.

5. DYLAN ARMSTRONG — The hefty shot putter has been at the peak of his game during 2011, spreading the word about Kamloops as he travels the globe blowing away his competition. He was named overall athlete of the year, most outstanding athlete in field events, and most outstanding performance of the year by Athletics Canada. And, he set a Canadian record. That’s what you’d call heavy lifting.

4. JOAN HUGHES — Whether it be a City bylaws officer giggling during testimony, cantankerous “freemen,” or noisy partiers disturbing their neighbours, it’s just another day at the office for Justice of the Peace Joan Hughes. Last year, she presided over the infamous “skateboard mom” case, and was the subject of a review by the chief provincial court judge of B.C. over the way she chastised the defendant. While 2011 has proven more sedate, she’s had a stream of oddball cases in front of her that continue to make her courtroom an interesting place to be.

3. BONNIE MARCHAND — Who knows how Fate conspired to put Bonnie Marchand in Erwin’s Bakery on Dec. 7, looking to buy a loaf of bread. Instead, the short-on-cash Marchand bought a $5 lottery ticket and won half a million bucks. How quickly a life can turn around. What did she do first? Bought new trucks for her two sons, of course.

2. MARK RECCHI — Home-town hockey hero, part owner of the Blazers, he was the consolation prize for the Tournament Capital after he and the Bruins beat the Canucks in the final. Then he blew a major chunk of that good will by capping his 22-year NHL career with pointless cheap shots about the Canucks supposedly being “arrogant” and “hated.” Which, in turn, earned him adjectives such as “Insensitive” and “classless.”

Which brings us Numero Uno, the Top of the List, the King of the Kamloopsians. And he doesn’t even live here; probably has never even visited.

1. HERBERT WIRTH — Never heard of him, have you? But you will. He’s CEO for the Polish state-owned mining giant KGHM, which has the majority financial stake in the Ajax project. Or, at least, he was at this writing. There have been media rumours over the past week that he’s about to lose his job because the Polish government isn’t happy with his opposition to a planned new mineral tax. As this goes to press, though, Wirth carries on making new deals for KGHM in Canada and China. If he does get the boot, somebody else will have to take his place when the first ceremonial blast is set off south of town. But whoever that might be, you’ve got to admit he’ll be a fascinating Kamloopsian, even if he doesn’t actually live here. He’ll likely ante up for a summer home in Aberdeen anyway.

The top 10 most fascinating Kamloopsians of 2011

Right about now, you’ll start reading and hearing about “the biggest story of 2011” in the media, including ours.

What makes for “big news,” of course, depends very much on individual palates. My vote would go to Ajax, but I’ll take a different approach — instead of talking about news stories as such, let’s consider the 10 Most Fascinating Kamloopsians of 2011.

Behind every story, after all, is at least one person. This is a list that could have numbered 100, but lists of 10 are so much easier. We shall begin, in order, from 10th place and work our way up.

10. TINA LANGE — She’s gone from selling newspaper ads to running a bistro to managing a hotel and being a civic politician, but the real reason she makes the list is because she uttered the quote of the year just a couple of weeks ago. “The sentiment is good that we’d like to help people but quite frankly it’s not our job,” she said during a council meeting. She said it In the context of a discussion about energy efficiency, and didn’t mean it literally, of course, but the fact a politician actually said it at all is, well, fascinating.

9. RICHARD WAGAMESE — His story is one of conflict between the man he wants to be and the one that is. He’s an author and a poet, having, among other things, received an honorary doctorate from TRU, and a national Aboriginal achievement award. And last month he was handed an 18-month conditional sentence with house arrest in the latest chapter of his conflict with the law. His criminal record of more than 50 offences goes back to the 1970s, but he uses his ongoing troubles to tell stories about native life.

8. TERRY LAKE — No one questions his occasional short temper and abrasiveness. What I like about him, though, is that he is without fear. He wasn’t afraid to run for mayor, then dump that job in favour of a chance at being an MLA and, later, cabinet minister. He’s decisive and doesn’t back down in front of a hostile crowd, of which he’s faced a few. Anybody who can’t take criticism from the public or the media, and who can’t hold his own respectfully in the face of it, shouldn’t be in politics. We don’t need whiners in politics. Lake has backbone.

7. VIOLET — Every list should have at least one dog, especially a purple one. Violet hit the news after she was found tethered to a fence by the SPCA. There followed a bizarre series of twists and turns to the story of how she ended up purple and abandoned, but it’s all working itself out. A close second in the animal category goes to Arundel, Aragon and all the other wild horses of the Deadman Valley who were saved from slaughter.

6. CARL ANDERSON — Entrepreneur, activist, just a guy who’s trying to help others. All those labels can be used to describe Carl Anderson, who hit upon the idea of opening a pot shop on Tranquille Road to provide medical marijuana to his clients. Things went along fine until the cops moved in and shut him down, making him the poster boy for the public-policy battle over access to medical pot.

But you’ll have to wait until Thursday for the top five.

A very merry Whatever-you-would-like-to-call it

Yes, we know this is a Christmas tree.

One thing for which I am profoundly grateful, on this, the day before Christmas, is the paucity of the now-traditional hair pulling over what to call the “festive season.”

There have been occasional rumblings, to be sure, such as the email I received near the beginning of the month subject-lined “Christmas Tree.”

It was recycled from last year, one of those things some people see as containing a profound message. It included pictures of decorated trees; above each was the line, “This is a Christmas Tree.”

At the bottom of the email was the message, “These are NOT Holiday Trees…. We are not celebrating the birth of a Holiday!!! We are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ!!!” and so on. There’s just a hint of rebelliousness about it, a sort of cry for freedom or something.

OK, we get it. You Christians can stop now. All you non-Christians who share their sentiments against the “political correctness” of a non-denominational “Holiday season,” you can stop now, too.

Case in point. South of the border, American Atheists president David Silverman was critical of President Barack Obama for talking too much about Christmas.

Perish the thought. Not only that, but doubt has been cast on the ownership of decorated trees. The practice, say the atheists, was started before Christianity, and so was the idea of celebrating around the time of the winter solstice.

Who then, really has title to Christmas? Again, Silverman: “Christianity thinks it owns this whole season, but this season, it belongs to everybody, and Christianity is not the first, nor the 10th religion to try and usurp the winter solstice for their own.”

Egad, dastardly Christians simply cannot be allowed to run about usurping the solstice. But if we all own Christmas — and isn’t that an intriguing prospect given that this season is supposed to be about sharing — the issue of what to call it remains.

A year ago, there was quite the brouhaha over this duel of the seasonal names down in Chilliwack, where the school board got into some trouble for calling the December break “Christmas Holidays.”

“We’re not having a holiday because it’s winter,” said Trustee Martha Wiens back then. “We are having a holiday because it’s Christmas, so why not just say what it is?”

On the other side of the argument was PAC president Kirsten Brandreth, who called the board “insensitive.”

But the Chilliwack board stuck to its guns, and this year as with last, the official school district calendar refers to “Christmas Holidays,” while most others, including Kamloops, use the term “Winter Vacation Period” or “Winter Break.”

Atheists can be a sanctimonious bunch in their own way, but they might indirectly have a point on this one. Maybe the exclusivity espoused by the likes of Martha Wiens and the author of the email on trees is passé.

No one can deny that Christmas has become something of a generic event that people of all faiths, or no faith, can enjoy.

So wouldn’t it be more productive, all things considered, if we stopped worrying so much? Let’s just make all the terminology interchangeable and be done with it. If you want to greet me with a “Merry Christmas,” a “Happy Holidays,” “Happy Hanukkah” or “Joyous Winter Solstice,” I’m fine with that.

Whichever of those you choose, that’s the one I wish for you on this special winter’s eve.

Not everybody get’s their name on a bike rack

Awhile ago, a faithful reader asked me if I’d been to the library lately. No, not lately.

I should take a look at the new bike rack near the front door, he said. It’s not your usual bike rack. Instead of a nondescript collection of welded pipes, this one is uniquely designed to celebrate local authors.

A different kind of a bike rack.

Among the names on the rack — itself designed to look like one long bicycle — are Ernie Kroeger, Wayne Norton, Peter Grauer, Vincent Bezeau and…. Mel Rothenburger.

The TNRD came up with the idea quite some time ago and asked a number of local authors if they’d mind having their names put on a new bike rack that was then in the process of being designed.

Mind? It’s way cool is what it is. Not a lot of people can say they have their name on a bike rack. I hadn’t realized the project had been completed and installed.

By the way, the book they picked to put under my name is The Wild McLeans. I still get asked several times a year where the book can be purchased and, alas, I must tell them that the only place it can now be found is in the second-hand bin or through the Internet.

Since I wrote the book many years ago, I’ve collected more information on my remarkable forefathers, as well as more photos. Who knows, some day, I might revise the book and seek a new publisher.

Frootloops council positively awash in talent

The brand-new fresh-start Frootloops council gathers for an important meeting. The mayor is in fine fettle.

MAYOR PETER WONDERBAR: My fellow members of council and all who reside in this Frootopia we call home, may the spirit of The Season be upon you! We have before us the question of entertainment for our annual Holiday party, to which, by the way, I’ve invited 235 special guests…. I observe, Coun. Greenthumbs, that you are standing on your head.

COUN. DONOVAN GREENTHUMBS: I’m letting the blood run to my brain — it helps me think.

COUN. NELLY OVERACHIEVER: Your Worldliness, I know we’ll be dealing later on with Coun. Greenthumbs’ notice of motion to exchange our armchairs for treadmills. In the meantime, I suggest we kick off our meetings with a bit of Tae Bo. It’s time to trim the fat at City Hall!

WONDERBAR: Being all about positivity and inclusiveness, I concur that we should seriously consider your idea before we shoot it down.

COUN. MARG SPIROGRAPH: We could play musical chairs instead!

WONDERBAR: This, too, is certainly worthy of input, after which I will over-rule it. We get enough exercise changing our minds.

COUN. TINA TOAST: Your Pleasantness, I have an idea….

WONDERBAR: Before you go further, may I ask we don’t do anything that would pile more responsibilities on our overworked staff. Look at them — they’re positively exhausted, poor things.

COUN. TOAST: I was only going to suggest….

WONDERBAR: Look, it’s not my fault everybody is a little stressed this time of year. Don’t blame me for everything. This is an exhausting job. Do you realize how many times I have to leave the room every meeting, just because of a few little conflicts of interest? Stand up, leave the room, come back, sit down, get up, leave the room! Who needs more exercise? I’m turning into a shadow of my former self.

COUN. TOAST: I just thought maybe we could turn up the thermostat. It’s chilly in here.

WONDERBAR: Note to self: “I am not a cranky pants; I am not a cranky pants!” Mr. Doodle, would you mind turning up the heat?

RANDY DOODLE: Sorry, Your Awesomeness, I’m busy catching 40 winks. I’ll defer to Mr. McSnorkle.

BYRON McSNORKLE: Can’t help you, Your Stupendousness. I’m tweeting.

COUN. PAT WATCHDOG: Your Inspirationalship, if entertainment for our party is going to mean a tax increase, I refuse to vote for it.

COUN. NANCY BUBBLES: Since I play the banjo, Your Sensation, I thought maybe we could provide our own entertainment at the party this year. It wouldn’t cost a dime!

COUN. KEN CHISTMAS: I’m pretty good at leaning back in my chair without falling over.

COUN. ARJUN SINGALONG: I have a very special talent, Your Niceness. I can talk for, say, 20 minutes, and nobody understands a word I’ve said.

COUN. OVERACHIEVER: Did you know I have an earlobe shaped like Santa Claus and his eight tiny reindeer?

COUN. GREENTHUMBS: I could cater — I make a mean spicy vegetarian buswrap!

WONDERBAR: And I suppose I could give one of my lectures about people who disagree with me, or who want us to get another report done — they’re really quite riveting. By gosh, I think I’m getting into the true Winter Break spirit! Meeting adjourned!

To publish, or not to publish photo of suspect in assault?

Suspect was taken into custody at Lansdowne Village mall. (Daily News photo)

I got a phone message yesterday morning from a reader who objected to the picture on the front page of the young man being arrested at Lansdowne Village mall. It was, she said, “disturbing” and “in very poor taste” to show the man’s bloodied face, because, after all, he has friends and parents who would be upset at seeing it.

The question of whether to use a photo that showed his face did come up for newsroom discussion the previous afternoon. My decision was to publish it, and to publish only the fact that he was being arrested after an incident at the mall, not to suggest he had committed any particular act.

For one thing, details of what had proceeded the arrest were sketchy. For another, there’s a legal consideration for media in such situations — just because someone is arrested, it does not mean he is guilty of anything. Police and Crown lawyers must decide whether to charge and prosecute, and a judge must decide on guilt or innocence.

Yesterday, more details of what occurred leading up to the arrest were released. On today’s front page of The Daily News, a story reveals that a 16-year-old stepped off a bus at the Lansdowne exchange and asked another man for a cigarette. The other individual responded by attacked the teen, then taking off.

Police caught up with the man suspected of the attack and a scuffle ensued. Police say the man repeatedly tried to head butt the arresting officer. It’s expected he’ll face charges of assault, resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer.

The bus exchange has been the scene of several assaults and other nasty incidents over the past year. People worry about it. The City added extra bylaws supervision and this appears to have assisted in catching the suspect on Monday.

Whether the man in the picture is found to have committed the offences, I think it was the right call to publish his picture, even though his family and friends might be upset by it.

Doctors have strange way of taking a stand on Ajax

What a strange and mysterious path leads us to the Ajax mine.

We have 60 alleged doctors who have strong opinions on the project, but not strong enough to let the public know their names.

“Kamloops citizens deserve the most rigorous investigation about the particulate emissions, and what trace minerals toxic or otherwise may be contained within them, to assess the potential effect on our air shed quality,” states an excerpt from the “letter from Kamloops physicians and surgeons.”

These concerned but unnamed medical practitioners conclude  by asking for an independent panel review of the project.

Such words from this league of extraordinarily secretive physicians and surgeons deserve to be taken about as seriously as any other anonymous blog comment but KGHM Ajax responded with not one, but two, letters to the editor.

Well, the letters were identical, but sent at separate times above different signatures.

The first came from John Froese, community relations coordinator, the man charged with looking after the project’s public-relations interests on the ground in Kamloops.

Froese rightfully questioned the cloak-and-dagger approach by the 60 covert objectors, then went on to challenge some of their information and invite them to “become engaged in the comprehensive environmental review process.”

He emailed the letter to us Saturday, Dec. 10. When it didn’t appear in the Monday edition, he phoned in the morning to check on its status. So I stopped in at the KGHM Ajax office across the street to assure him it would be in the next day, but he was out for lunch.

This was followed in the evening with receipt of another copy of the letter, this time above the name of Jim Whittaker, project manager who resides in Vancouver.

But wait, as they say in the commercials, there’s more. By the end of the week, Froese was no longer with Ajax, having resigned.

I haven’t made contact with him but a spokesperson said yesterday it’s expected he’ll be replaced sometime around the middle of January.

All this was preceded, of course, by the mission to Ottawa by our mayor and MP, both (as noted here previously) late converts to the idea of a federal panel review instead of relying on the comprehensive environmental review thing.

Meanwhile, Kamloops-North Thompson MLA Terry Lake, doubling as B.C.’s environment minister, assures us of his neutrality but sees no reason for a federal panel review.

Kamloops-South MLA Kevin Krueger, no longer fettered by the subtle diplomacies of cabinetry, is less reluctant to express opinions on Ajax.

Which brings us to the embarrassment of the Kamloops and District Labour Council over which side to take. Krueger thinks the labour council should keep its nose out of it until all the studies are in, accusing them of “jumping in before doing their due diligence.”

In case you are wondering what kind of due diligence Krueger himself is doing, or which side of the fence he’s on, I harken you back to this space last July 26, in which we discussed a letter from Krueger’s assistant Joel Neustaeter, who pointed out to a constituent that “God hid them (minerals) where he put them, and once people have invested the risk capital to find and claim the needle in the haystack, they have the moral and legal right to determine whether those minerals can be safely and economically drawn from the subsurface.”

Due diligence indeed.

Trophy hunting is a strange twist on wildlife ‘stewardship’

Gift of a mounted ram's head was generous and well-intended, but trophy hunting is a strange "sport." (Daily News photo)

This newspaper published a picture last week of four people with a California bighorn ram.

The only one not smiling was the ram, which is understandable given that it was dead and, indeed, bodiless. When it was shot in 1920 it was believed to be close to a world record.

Not having further use for the stuffed head, the nice lady who inherited it thoughtfully turned it over to the Rocky Mountain Rangers, as a ram forms part of the company’s insignia.

I propose no criticism of this kindly gesture, though I’ve always found taxidermy to be a grotesque, albeit skilled, practice. This is because I find the notion of killing animals whose only offence is to be the biggest, strongest or prettiest of their species disturbing.

Trophy hunting is an aberrant twist on the concept of wildlife stewardship. I recently talked with a pleasant gentleman who likes to go to Africa to shoot animals, the bigger the better. I presume he’s a member of a group known as the Boone and Crocket Club, whose major raison d’etre is to hunt down the best examples of the gene pools of species throughout the world.

When they “bag” a “good one” (and there are criteria for determining what is “a good one” and what isn’t) they are awarded points. The ultimate brass ring is entry into the club’s records book.

The record for an elk, for example, is a magnificent bull with nine points on one antler and 14 on the other. It is, the B&C acknowledges, an “incredible” specimen. His descendants, if any survive, would be proud, I’m sure.

(For the record, as it were, the largest land mammal ever shot for “sport” was a 13-ft.-high Angolan elephant brought down by three hunters who blazed away at it for several hours one day in 1956.)

At this time of year, when most of us are thinking of Santa and eight tiny reindeer, trophy hunters have visions of a nice set of antlers above the mantle.

Being a trophy hunter is no easy gig. The rigours of tracking down four-hoofed adversaries are explained in the latest edition of Outdoor Life magazine: “You’re cold, you’re tired and you’re frustrated. The last remaining days of deer season might not be for the faint of heart, but it’s a great time to take the biggest deer of your life.”

One veritably weeps in sympathy for the gallant “sportsman” who has little more than a 4X4, thermal long johns and a high-powered rifle for defence against the vicious ungulates that prowl the forests.

It has been said homo sapiens is the only species on the planet that kills for fun. That’s not quite true — my old cat Square Box seemed to find pleasure, on occasion, in tossing around a fat mousie before crunching it up.

Non-human hunters, though, take what they can find; they don’t go looking to cull prime specimens. Even Square Box enjoyed a tiny vole as much as he did a two-pound pack rat.

No, I’m afraid you’ll never hear me compliment a trophy hunter on bagging a big one.

In a world in which we regard animals as our play things rather than sentient beings, how encouraging it is to learn, on these same pages, of the man who is trying to stop careless motorists from slaughtering deer as they cross busy Westsyde Road.

Thank you, Gerd Dessau, for reminding us there are still people among us who understand the definition of stewardship.

Council not boldly going where it has gone before

The Big Question has been answered. Will this new council seek out new concepts and new ways of doing things; will it boldly go where no council has gone before?

No.

Donovan Cavers and Arjun Singh have learned that in nothing flat.

They have been sent a clear message that civic government is about serious things, like landfill off-gassing and sewer pipes. It is not a forum for trying out off-the-wall ideas in the names of environmental friendliness, customer service or healthy living.

For example, Cavers got it in his head that, instead of raising their hands when voting, council members should stand. It would be healthy, he said.

It was a goofy idea, of course. What was interesting was how Cavers’ colleagues reacted when it came up for debate at the end of a four-and-a-half hour meeting Tuesday.

Ken Christian couldn’t resist. “This is not a Pilates class,” he began, grandly declaring that he ran for council to do the City’s business, not to get exercise.

This, in itself, demonstrated the usefulness of putting forward ideas with a week’s notice, for Christian put the time to good use polishing his clever rejoinder.

Good for you, Ken. Now cut it out. Council chambers are not the legislature or the federal House, in which combatants sharpen their political swords on hapless opponents. Neither is it the school board, where such comments can be made without fear of them ever making it to the public ear.

Everyone in the room, including Cavers, was aware the motion was going down 8-1. Was it necessary to speak at all?

To her credit, Nelly Dever treated Cavers’ idea respectfully, though she didn’t support it. She noted that good health is a product of good nutrition, proper exercise and a decent night’s sleep (which, incidentally, a certain senior staff member who somnambulated his way through the whole meeting might take to heart).

Also to her credit, Nancy Bepple thanked Cavers for bringing forward the idea, though she, too, opposed it.

At the end of this very short debate, Cavers stood to vote in favour, while the others sat to vote against. (As a side note, there’s nothing prohibiting Cavers from standing any time he wants to when he votes, as long as he also raises his hand.)

Adding to Cavers’ — and Singh’s — misery was council’s “flip flop” (we media love that term) on solar heat.

Maybe, with time, Cavers will learn to affect the chair-leaned-back nonchalance and self-assured demeanor of Christian, but Tuesday wasn’t a stellar day.

As for Singh, well, he had the temerity to support a citizen’s concern about snow clearance, proposing that the clearing of sidewalks and driveway windrows be put in the supplementary budget for consideration next year.

Horrors! The spectre of a tax increase was quickly raised. More importantly, though, was that “we,” as in councils past, have discussed this issue many times and “we” don’t want to do it again. No going where council has refused to go so many times before.

Apparently unaware that nobody save for Singh and Cavers was much interested in supporting the proposal, the mayor capped the discussion with another lecture on his aversion to “yet another report.”

Singh, as he himself appropriately put it, “quit while he was behind.”